Happy Father’s Day to all the dads and dad substitutes out there!
My father is probably the most important person in my life. I am his oldest child and I was born on his birthday, which I think gave us a stronger bond. We haven’t always been exceptionally close but we have never been estranged.
Like many people would say about their own fathers, my dad is a very unique individual. He is quiet, very intelligent, sometimes strange, usually patient, extremely stubborn, and I could go on. He puts up with a lot, from his work to his relatives. Both of his parents are gone and his 2 sisters don’t usually contact him unless they need him for something. My parents have been divorced for almost 25 years and he hasn’t dated since. But he is starting to get back out there, finally!
My dad would do anything for us, and I would do anything for him. He was the only one who really supported my move cross-country. When I decided to leave my husband it was him I was most afraid of disappointing but he was the most accepting while my mom said she didn’t want to choose sides (and who conspired with my husband to try to get us back together).
Four years ago I was about to start a new job after telecommuting for 3 years. After a lifetime of avoiding doctors unless absolutely necessary, Dad finally decided to take charge of his health. After he was diagnosed with blocked arteries and diabetes. We knew he was probably going to need surgery within the next few months. He needed someone to help him out – before, during, and after the surgery. My Brother lived about 2 hours away and had a great job. My sister lived about 90 minutes away with her 2 children and then-boyfriend. I lived alone and could work from home – all I needed was broadband. And cable. Oh and cell service. Since all 3 were (actually) (finally) available in Tiny Town I decided to move back as I would be the least disrupted by moving.
After 4 years, 3 major surgeries, 2 minor procedures (the 2nd was because of his extremely stubborn pigheadedness), we are doing quite well in the same house. Even though I have 2 siblings, this isn’t the first time we have lived in the same house alone. When my parents divorced my mom was awarded custody of the 3 of us. A few years later I moved back with dad to get away from her live-in boyfriend and it was just us until I got married and moved away.
I could never live with my mom, but that those are stories for another day.
I think Dad and I do very well, better than a lot of parents and their adult children. Of course it helps that we each have our own living room. And bathroom. And I would hope that it would go without saying – our own bedrooms (but I thoughtI would say it anyway, because ewwww!). And the cornerstone of any good roommate arrangement? Our own TVs. And of course our own computers – no one is allowed to touch my computer! But one of the most important items we do not share? An air-conditioner. It has been in the 90s here and the man is still wearing sweatshirts!
Even though I don’t care much about what other people think of me, my stubborn pride thought I would be bothered by getting those looks because people might think I moved in with my dad because I couldn’t support myself. I probably have gotten those looks but I don’t notice them so much anymore. Do they bother me? No. The only person whose opinion matters in this situation is mine and my Dad’s.
Four years ago I knew, mostly, what I would be getting into. (OK, I didn’t really think about the possibility of not ever having sex again. Ever.) I would be happy to make this decision all over again. Getting to spend this time with my Dad while he is still here is worth anything.
Well, some sex would be nice. More than nice, really.